Scorched..

Long time since I blogged…there has been so much going on lately - one always means to, but never finds the time to…something else is always more important...

…and that is how we deprive ourselves of the simple pleasures of life…

But I am no one to talk about the simple pleasures of life...not after I have become this creature I have become..

I guess the symptoms were always there - always good at multitasking, involved with two dozen things at the same time...but there are limits to multitasking too, so many-a-time screwing up because of my desperate urge to do this, that and the other!

Then came summers - at HLL…it was a hot blazing Indian summer day when I walked into 'Levers House' in Mumbai...having no idea about the fact that I would vindicate myself at that place..

I met KK there...my boss - and the gamut of emotions that I have gone through because of him - I think he is one of the sharpest men I know - so quick on the uptake, so clear and logical, he cuts you into pieces if you so much as fumble once, and ohh so busy! He would not have any time for me - I would have to chase him like I have NEVER chased anybody in my entire life…I would sit outside for hours while he would finish his phone conversation just so that I could talk with him for 10 minutes! It would rarely anger me, more than that, I would get a feeling of being incompetent – because KK does not give his time easily to people he does not consider worth his time – and from that feeling rose the overwhelming urge to prove myself..

Roundabout that time, I started reading ‘Atlas Shrugged’ – long overdue – and it blew me – I wanted to be Dagny...I wanted to command that kind of respect for being as competent as she was, I wanted to feel that kind of passion for what I was doing..

N so I worked, I worked so hard like I have never worked in my life...I worked so smart like I have never worked in my life…cutting out the inefficiencies completely...if people think life@IIM is tough, they don’t know what they are talking about..

I went and visited shops in Northern and Western India, in the scorching heat...shop after shop, observing and chatting up shopper after shopper...looking, observing, listening, noting, inferring, improvising…touched base in Mumbai, did research, made plans – only to have them shot down by KK..

He would ask all the right questions and catch me at all my shaky points…he was rude, some said – even I said so at times – but he was the kind of person who does not tolerate fools or foolishness...and that kinda authority comes with the absolute confidence of knowing that you are doing a good job…and I wanted to be that person..

I did everything that I could have done...took feedback diligently, went and met people, landed up at advertising houses without appointments and managed to get my work done…people have always told me I am pushy...but I took that to an art form..

I started planning for my market research then – and man, was it a nightmare! So many people to contact, so many permissions to take, I was working like a maniac and was not even sure of it would get done...but I made it work...My market research finally went on air – in Mumbai and Delhi...I went crazy...I was working 13 hours those days – conceptualizing, executing, supervising..

I fell sick…

N then mid-term appraisal happened and KK told me this – ‘I have failed as a tutor with you because you are good at everything, I am unable to identify an area of improvement for you’! I felt like I was on air...

N so you see, that was the story of my summers more or less…yeah, there were a few drunken parties and a Bollywood party as well, some interesting dinners and some criticism from KK towards the end (he again caught my Achilles heel)…but predominantly, it was about moving towards that place I have always wanted to reach – operation with minimum leakage and infinite efficiency!

Was it fun? I don’t think so – I learned a lot...skills and competencies as PM would put it...I am much more confident now and I definitely know how to get my work done...but it has made me into this kinda person who cannot sit still for one moment...someone who wants to extract every bit of productivity from life…someone who cannot enjoy the simple pleasures of life..