The Pursuit of Joy

I need a dose of daily joy

Like tonic for my soul

Like Fevikwik for broken parts

that makes me feel so whole

No matter how bad it gets

Always keep handy a vice

A time-out from your daily grind

And that’s my best advice

It need not be a vice you know

Just something that is special

A sunset, a bath, a phone call

to buttress-harness-trestle

Happiness is hard

Too many parameters at play

Difficult to evoke at will

Impossible to make it stay

But good ol’ joy ain’t that way

It’s like instant noodles

Boil it stir it slurp it

Dopamine in oodles

Yes yes do fix your life

In big and lasting ways

But keep a minute for dear old joy

It’ll keep the blues at bay

What being a woman means

To be a woman

Is to see no difference

And treat myself as such

To hold myself

To the same expectations

Inside the house and outside

To make the first move

To punch above my weight

To stand tall even in a sea of giants

To see the extra layers

And teach myself not to cringe

Someone’s learning by watching me

To let the son know it’s ok to cry

Important to nurture

Necessary to ask

To think no ill

Especially of other women

Whose shoes I haven’t walked in

But to carry the weight

Atlas-like, for all women

I cannot shrug.

For my sisters and daughters

And certainly for my son

I will define who women are

Love is a verb

Love is this and that

So we are told

It will happen to you they say

And we are totally sold

So great is this thing

It will change you my friend

You will feel all the feels

For all of time till it ends

Happiness will be yours

When this manna does drop

You will harvest forever

This bountiful crop

So imagine my surprise

when this promised land

turned out to be a mirage

of an oasis in the sand

Love is not a thing

Love is not a thing

It’s not fate or fact

I daresay I now know

That love is an act

Love is an action

Made of many tiny beats

of care, of caresses

of attentions on repeat

it’s a smile when you’re tired

a kindness when you’re beat

it’s to hold an umbrella

amidst the blazing heat

it’s a decision that you make

and renew on every day

to be an anchor and a safeguard

a refuge in stormy bays

to take the bad with the good

the ugly with the smooth

somedays it’s a struggle

and that’s the simple truth

Nevertheless, you climb that hill

not only for the view

for the company, the conversations

and no one else will do

It may not be easy

and many-splendored every day

love is work

a resolution to stay

So, yes, it’s fabulous and fine

And all very superb

But one must remember

That love is a verb

Be half a woman

I wish a wish

on your behalf

that on this day

you get to be half

Half as driven

Half as intent

Half as amazing

50% percent

Be less

have fewer still,

tasks to do

goals to fulfil

Be a one-tasker

why not I say

one must experience

this too for a day

Go lock yourself

in a room or such

a retreat they call it

not asking for much

Shakespeare did it

(Austen could not)

did the kids eat

was never bethought

And when those kids walk in

look another way

run if you must

go quick I say

Run like the wind

no sweat no worry

lie low think nothing

be ordinary

Be ordinary

a standard issue human

oh and barf at anyone

calling you super-woman

Be half a woman

Be half a woman

for a full day

it won’t be easy

but try it today

#womensday2022

Gehraaiyan

What does it take

To go from blurry lines

to stygian blind

- a pinch of color

Of the wrong kind

A squeeze,

a hint

of looming chill

an undulating road

deceptively downhill

we move around

with masks on

facades of civility

quickly shorn

quick to crack

like crème brulee

to reveal the horrors

we keep at bay

the slope is slippery

the soul is mud

for cunning craftsmen

to mould with blood

to tattoo with needles

with poisonous tips

our dark fates

in hellish scripts

history has shown

many times over

tis true it’s true

and so what must

we do

fight today

the minor tweaks

the casual stripping

the harmless leaks

to snip and nip

this thing in the bud

this evil out there

but also in our own blood

Horcruxes

 

I have many bottles

they sit on a shelf

they are quite pretty

I made them myself

They hold different things

some fizz some settle

some yearn to be let out

like steam from a kettle

I will free them one day

let them fly float fall

vanish like the mist

or take over it all

Just not now my sweets

now’s not the time

not for a little while more

it is not a crime

it is not a crime

I am just too busy

there are things to be done

no time to be dizzy

With laughter and sorrow

loneliness and glee

I will feel you tomorrow

I will. You will see

I will feel every feeling

every last one of you

let you rain over me

and soak me through and through

You must have patience

and wait for that day

till then you are safe

till then you’re okay

And I am okay too

..

I have many bottles

They sit on a shelf

They are horcruxes actually

Parts of my self